No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
