i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I won the penis lottery.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
