One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
