C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize