No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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