Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
