I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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