Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
whose parrot is this?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
