He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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