don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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