Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize