Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
