Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
