If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
