a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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