I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
