chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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