it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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