And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
