Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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