let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
