you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
