i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
