We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
