yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
