im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
