My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
