thus making me awesome and them whores
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
