If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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