i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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