I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
