it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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