I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
