omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
