Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize