did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
