it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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