So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
no you cant smoke seaweed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
