Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
