You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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