its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
