i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize