so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
