Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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