if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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