whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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