There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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