He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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