some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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