Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
