just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
