How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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