the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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