you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
