would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
