Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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