Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
