it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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