I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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