You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
