i dont even know how to be here
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
