Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
